Just to randomly update my holidays status...
at 3am I am immersed in the world of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.
I hate that I can't seem to get enough of the characters in the novels, but in fanfiction? oh! It's another story altogether... I think I like the idea of Draco and Harry, as enemies being able to get over their differences to realise how incredibly attractive both of them would be, especially with all the quidditch training. Nice.
I know I'm not making much sense. The night ended badly last night and I went to bed with my cheeks and ears burning in frustration, anger and embarrassment. Even still I didn't get anything truly sorted today, though I tried. I think the idea is to go with the flow but that assumes that others make the moves instead - if they go with the flow too then nothing happens and you end up getting shoved out of the way so that someone else who can make decisions moves into place.
So HP/DM slash has been a nice retreat for me. To dive into the world of HP and dream about being a part of it. Though knowing myself I'd have been just the same nerdy, uncoordinated, socially inept marshmallow I was in highschool. Chances are magic would have little to change in that scenario.
Nevermind, I can dream. :P
Monday, November 17, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
2008 - first year med = over
I understand that I may have gone a little overboard with the studying via blog... not that we were tested on much of that, or that I could remember many of the law cases so maybe I shant do that next year :P
Today was the last day of exams. Four exams in the last three days... it has been hell, but very satisfying that it is all finally over!! So I can relax during my holidays only to do it all again next year :P Though (new years resolution #1) I will be more prepared with study notes before exams. The plan is also to possibly look at muscles and bones over the holidays to become acquainted with the many many muscles we will have to know by this time next year.
I am home recently from the after exam party. We played pool at Tom's, where I got quite tipsy and yet I still have half my drinks there... Went to Melbas and had a good time; then my feet got very sore (NYR #2) so I will learn not to wear heels (despite very sexy heels that make me at least 3 inches taller - so yea, 5'5" = practically normal!!) when I know I will be dancing/partying for so long; then many people left; then when most of the good ones had gone and the ratio of sleazes to cuties was severe, I got Tom to walk me to the taxi rank and got home eventually. Now my feet are painful and my makeup is still on. Tomorrow I will fix.
For now I am concerned about two things - 1. there are a fair few cute boys in med who would be potentials in the dating scene if they were not a) in med with me for the next 4 years b) more like brothers to me and c) currently attached with girlfriends and admirers; and 2. how I can explain to my boyfriend that no, I dont want to go visit your family on the weekend because a) it is my car and he doesnt have a licence so I will be doing all the driving b) dan is coming down and I haven't seen him in ages, nor will I see him in ages after this weekend and he is awesome fun c) this weekend was sort of meant to be me partying heaps since I have now finished exams d) cos I need to stop showing so much attachment (and thus feeling more attached) to his family (and thus him) as it seems like the breakup is inevitable more and more each day. I hate the fact that it is always me doing the traveling to see him and that when he suggests we go visit his parents that the implication is via my car, my petrol (which he rarely contributes to) and me doing all the driving. I hate that he wont appreciate the fact that I like to go to clubs and party and dance, and instead will sulk by the corner watching me and getting angry when other guys look at me, yet he will casually stare at the next nice pair of breasts that walks by and even feel cocky enough to point them out to me.
Augh. Inevitable is inevitable. I'm just a weak bastard who wont committ to the uncommitting..
Today was the last day of exams. Four exams in the last three days... it has been hell, but very satisfying that it is all finally over!! So I can relax during my holidays only to do it all again next year :P Though (new years resolution #1) I will be more prepared with study notes before exams. The plan is also to possibly look at muscles and bones over the holidays to become acquainted with the many many muscles we will have to know by this time next year.
I am home recently from the after exam party. We played pool at Tom's, where I got quite tipsy and yet I still have half my drinks there... Went to Melbas and had a good time; then my feet got very sore (NYR #2) so I will learn not to wear heels (despite very sexy heels that make me at least 3 inches taller - so yea, 5'5" = practically normal!!) when I know I will be dancing/partying for so long; then many people left; then when most of the good ones had gone and the ratio of sleazes to cuties was severe, I got Tom to walk me to the taxi rank and got home eventually. Now my feet are painful and my makeup is still on. Tomorrow I will fix.
For now I am concerned about two things - 1. there are a fair few cute boys in med who would be potentials in the dating scene if they were not a) in med with me for the next 4 years b) more like brothers to me and c) currently attached with girlfriends and admirers; and 2. how I can explain to my boyfriend that no, I dont want to go visit your family on the weekend because a) it is my car and he doesnt have a licence so I will be doing all the driving b) dan is coming down and I haven't seen him in ages, nor will I see him in ages after this weekend and he is awesome fun c) this weekend was sort of meant to be me partying heaps since I have now finished exams d) cos I need to stop showing so much attachment (and thus feeling more attached) to his family (and thus him) as it seems like the breakup is inevitable more and more each day. I hate the fact that it is always me doing the traveling to see him and that when he suggests we go visit his parents that the implication is via my car, my petrol (which he rarely contributes to) and me doing all the driving. I hate that he wont appreciate the fact that I like to go to clubs and party and dance, and instead will sulk by the corner watching me and getting angry when other guys look at me, yet he will casually stare at the next nice pair of breasts that walks by and even feel cocky enough to point them out to me.
Augh. Inevitable is inevitable. I'm just a weak bastard who wont committ to the uncommitting..
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Cardiac Cycle. Yea I know I'm lame :P
Phases:
1 Atrial contraction
End A systole pressv so valves float back up
2 Isovolumetric contraction
press V > A so AV valves close.
S1
V press ^^
3 Rapid ejection
press V > aorta/pulmT - SL valves open
4 Reduced ejection
rate of ejection decreases
5 Isovolumetric relaxation
press V < vessels so SL close
S2
6 Rapid filling
press V < A so AV open
S3 may occur
7 Reduced flling
vents fill, but less compliant so ^press
S4 may occur
1 Atrial contraction
End A systole pressv so valves float back up
2 Isovolumetric contraction
press V > A so AV valves close.
S1
V press ^^
3 Rapid ejection
press V > aorta/pulmT - SL valves open
4 Reduced ejection
rate of ejection decreases
5 Isovolumetric relaxation
press V < vessels so SL close
S2
6 Rapid filling
press V < A so AV open
S3 may occur
7 Reduced flling
vents fill, but less compliant so ^press
S4 may occur
Legal stuffs
Just to get it into my head, here's some case references I may need to know:
Re A (adult: refusal of medical treatment) [1994] 1 WLR 290 (capacity test)
Barnett v Chelsea Hospital Management Committee [1969] 1 QB 428 (causation - link)
R v Davidson [1969] VR 667 (abortion - menhennit ruling)
R v Wald [1971] 3 DCR (NSW) (abortion - including state after birth)
R v Bayliss and Cullen [1986] 9 Qld (Menhennit ruling applying in Qld)
Re B (adult: refusal of medical treatment) [2002] 2 All ER 449 (Life sustaining treatment for competent adult)
Re S (adult: refusal of medical treatment) [1992] 4 All ER 671 (pregnant woman refusing)
Airedale NHS Trust v Bland [1993] AC 789 (withdrawal of life support)
Civil Liability Act [2003] Qld
Criminal Code Act [1899] Qld
Guardianship and Administration Act [2000] QWld
Powers of Attorney Act [1998]
Transplantation and Administration Act [1997] Qld
Public Health Act [2005] Qld
Worker's Compensation and Rehabilitation Act [2003]
Re A (adult: refusal of medical treatment) [1994] 1 WLR 290 (capacity test)
Barnett v Chelsea Hospital Management Committee [1969] 1 QB 428 (causation - link)
R v Davidson [1969] VR 667 (abortion - menhennit ruling)
R v Wald [1971] 3 DCR (NSW) (abortion - including state after birth)
R v Bayliss and Cullen [1986] 9 Qld (Menhennit ruling applying in Qld)
Re B (adult: refusal of medical treatment) [2002] 2 All ER 449 (Life sustaining treatment for competent adult)
Re S (adult: refusal of medical treatment) [1992] 4 All ER 671 (pregnant woman refusing)
Airedale NHS Trust v Bland [1993] AC 789 (withdrawal of life support)
Civil Liability Act [2003] Qld
Criminal Code Act [1899] Qld
Guardianship and Administration Act [2000] QWld
Powers of Attorney Act [1998]
Transplantation and Administration Act [1997] Qld
Public Health Act [2005] Qld
Worker's Compensation and Rehabilitation Act [2003]
Friday, November 7, 2008
Fetal Circulation
Since the lungs are not used in the fetus (because oxygenated blood comes from the umbilical vessels), blood is shunted around in different ways:
0. Umbilical vessels
Umbilical arteries drains blood from fetal iliac arteries; blood is passed through vessels in the placenta and diffusion between it and the mother's blood can occur, thus delivering nutrients to the fetus and removing wastes. The umbilical vein returns oxygenated blood to the liver (half of which will go through the liver and the other half through the DV)
1. Ductus venosus
This structure bypasses the liver and joins with the IVC to direct oxygenated blood from umbilical vessels to heart and thus the rest of the circulation.
2. Foramen ovale
3. Ductus arteriosus
Similar to the foramen ovale, this allows blood to flow between the pulmonary trunk and the aorta.
0. Umbilical vessels
Umbilical arteries drains blood from fetal iliac arteries; blood is passed through vessels in the placenta and diffusion between it and the mother's blood can occur, thus delivering nutrients to the fetus and removing wastes. The umbilical vein returns oxygenated blood to the liver (half of which will go through the liver and the other half through the DV)
1. Ductus venosus
This structure bypasses the liver and joins with the IVC to direct oxygenated blood from umbilical vessels to heart and thus the rest of the circulation.
2. Foramen ovale
Since RA receives oxygenated blood (from IVC/DV/Umbilicus), and that the lungs do not supply oxygen at this time, there is a hole between the atria that allows blood to travel from RA to LA so oxygenated blood can be delivered to other systems. The Septum primum on the left side prevents blood going from left to right.
3. Ductus arteriosus
Similar to the foramen ovale, this allows blood to flow between the pulmonary trunk and the aorta.
Embryology of the lungs
Ok, I'm ignoring development of the upper airways, pleura and diaphragm here (mainly because we didn't discuss it and I'll try and deal with it later)
Endoderm forms the epithelia.
Splanchnic mesoderm and neural crest cells form the cartilage, connective tissue and muscles.
So there are roughly 5 stages:
1. Embyonic (from the 4th week)
Development begins in the 4th week where there forms a respiratory (or laryngotracheal) diverticulum (from an opening in the foregut in the embryo).
The diverticulum grows and then folds (tracheo-oesophageal folds) to create the tracheo-oesophageal septum to separate the trachea and lung buds from the oesophagus. There is still a connection with these two - via the larynx which forms from the 4th and 6th pharyngeal arches.
The lung buds are two divisions of the trachea, and these continue to divide so that by 6 months there are more than 17 subdivisions.
2. Psuedoglandular (5-17 weeks)
All of the elements of the lungs have developed except those involved in gas exchange
3. Canalicular (16-25 weeks)
Increase in vascularity of the lungs. Respiratory bronchioles and alveolar ducts form.
4. Saccular (24weeks to birth)
Increase in the number of terminal sacs.
Cuboidal cells become flat squamous epithelia.
By week 20 Type II alveolar cells have been producing surfactant.
Further development of the capillary network
5. Alveolar (late fetal - childhood)
Where alveoli form and continue to develop after birth
Endoderm forms the epithelia.
Splanchnic mesoderm and neural crest cells form the cartilage, connective tissue and muscles.
So there are roughly 5 stages:
1. Embyonic (from the 4th week)
Development begins in the 4th week where there forms a respiratory (or laryngotracheal) diverticulum (from an opening in the foregut in the embryo).
The diverticulum grows and then folds (tracheo-oesophageal folds) to create the tracheo-oesophageal septum to separate the trachea and lung buds from the oesophagus. There is still a connection with these two - via the larynx which forms from the 4th and 6th pharyngeal arches.
The lung buds are two divisions of the trachea, and these continue to divide so that by 6 months there are more than 17 subdivisions.
2. Psuedoglandular (5-17 weeks)
All of the elements of the lungs have developed except those involved in gas exchange
3. Canalicular (16-25 weeks)
Increase in vascularity of the lungs. Respiratory bronchioles and alveolar ducts form.
4. Saccular (24weeks to birth)
Increase in the number of terminal sacs.
Cuboidal cells become flat squamous epithelia.
By week 20 Type II alveolar cells have been producing surfactant.
Further development of the capillary network
5. Alveolar (late fetal - childhood)
Where alveoli form and continue to develop after birth
Monday, November 3, 2008
Fascination
Humans fascinate me.
Not just how the body works, but the mind too.
Stubbled across a few sites that have intrigued me:
FOUND Magazine
Postsecret
I Found Your Camera
I've been up for an extra hour looking at scanned pictures and postcards with other people's thoughts and scribbles. There's so much about us all that I want to understand better.
Also I wonder if anything that I've ever written has made it online... Now I'm worried.
And also wanting to go to the library more often to find secret love notes stashed between the pages. Or better yet, what I used to do - quietly defile the pages (in pencil I might add) with some secret I couldn't tell anyone.
This is much like finding my old diaries again and reading what I wrote so many years ago. Except I do remember some bits of what I wrote, and recognise the person behind the writing; while these people online are people who I don't know, who have different histories and backgrounds and I'm curious - I want to know more about them.
I'm also insanely jealous about some of the beautiful handwriting shown.
Now I want to go study about handwriting since the way a person writes is fascinating.
Not just how the body works, but the mind too.
Stubbled across a few sites that have intrigued me:
FOUND Magazine
Postsecret
I Found Your Camera
I've been up for an extra hour looking at scanned pictures and postcards with other people's thoughts and scribbles. There's so much about us all that I want to understand better.
Also I wonder if anything that I've ever written has made it online... Now I'm worried.
And also wanting to go to the library more often to find secret love notes stashed between the pages. Or better yet, what I used to do - quietly defile the pages (in pencil I might add) with some secret I couldn't tell anyone.
This is much like finding my old diaries again and reading what I wrote so many years ago. Except I do remember some bits of what I wrote, and recognise the person behind the writing; while these people online are people who I don't know, who have different histories and backgrounds and I'm curious - I want to know more about them.
I'm also insanely jealous about some of the beautiful handwriting shown.
Now I want to go study about handwriting since the way a person writes is fascinating.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
One Week
In one week I will be 20. I feel so young and yet I feel like I've wasted time just floating or sailing or drifting along. So many things I want to have done, and haven't. Travel, go on a road trip, write something more than assignments and diary entries, be single, have sex in strange places. Chances of me getting to do these things seem to be getting less and less... maybe when I'm retired I'll have a chance. hmm... kinky.
Party plans are go. I still have to go out and buy fruit and chocolate and juice and ice and serviettes and plastic cups and chips and corn chips and lollies and m&ms and mum's making dip. Ah crap and I have to double check that it's ok I actually hold the party where I've already told everyone it's being held.
Watching strange movie with the chick from xmen. Interesting quote "The longer you are with one person, the more annoying they will become. And you will be annoying too. So, if you want things to be perfect, don't be in a relationship". I know I'm annoying him. But am I making the right choice if I keep pushing him away? Why do I need him to cut the ties? Is it so he's not so hurt?
Party plans are go. I still have to go out and buy fruit and chocolate and juice and ice and serviettes and plastic cups and chips and corn chips and lollies and m&ms and mum's making dip. Ah crap and I have to double check that it's ok I actually hold the party where I've already told everyone it's being held.
Watching strange movie with the chick from xmen. Interesting quote "The longer you are with one person, the more annoying they will become. And you will be annoying too. So, if you want things to be perfect, don't be in a relationship". I know I'm annoying him. But am I making the right choice if I keep pushing him away? Why do I need him to cut the ties? Is it so he's not so hurt?
Friday, September 26, 2008
Yes I'm Aware It's 4:45am
So in the end the HP slash was good, but not necessarily enough romping to justify 12 hours of not studying...
My brain hurts now.
Sleep.
Then study tomorrow.
Oh god I hope Mother doesn't decide to wake me up early...
My brain hurts now.
Sleep.
Then study tomorrow.
Oh god I hope Mother doesn't decide to wake me up early...
Procrastinating at its sauciest
I have found my undoing.
I have been home from work since 9:30 this evening and it is currently 1:23am. I have not stopped reading this awesome HP fanfic. Part of me is cursing the steely-fingered one... and the rest of me is laughing too hard at Draco and his awkwardness to care :P
However, this means my total amount of study tonight has been... zero.
Which makes me more like one of Draco's schemes to sabotage others so he can be brilliant.
Ah if only he wasn't so damned devilishly bad-boy cute...
Well I'm only up to their 5th year, so surely this fantastic work of HP fiction cannot go beyond the school years... my study regime hopes...
Meanwhile, boys are annoying.
Also that I keep using big words in msn conversations at 1:30 in the morning is surprising and slightly annoying. So constantly in lethologica - wh/ i think is the state of not knowing the precise word you wish to use at that time. Plus I keep talking like I'm narrating a HP fanfic story... and my brain starts narrating my life.. Can't it give a brief overview of whatever I need to learn about Cardiovascular and Respiratory systems since I know so very very very little right now.
I know I am small, but I feel so tiny when the world is so big and the wealth of knowledge we'll be expected to know (and are expected to know already) is enormous.
*sigh*
Ok, sleep soon, then study in the morning.
Delete links to awesome fanfics and read during holidays.
Also remember to get the third book in Inheritance cycle... will kill anyone who ruins the ending.
I have been home from work since 9:30 this evening and it is currently 1:23am. I have not stopped reading this awesome HP fanfic. Part of me is cursing the steely-fingered one... and the rest of me is laughing too hard at Draco and his awkwardness to care :P
However, this means my total amount of study tonight has been... zero.
Which makes me more like one of Draco's schemes to sabotage others so he can be brilliant.
Ah if only he wasn't so damned devilishly bad-boy cute...
Well I'm only up to their 5th year, so surely this fantastic work of HP fiction cannot go beyond the school years... my study regime hopes...
Meanwhile, boys are annoying.
Also that I keep using big words in msn conversations at 1:30 in the morning is surprising and slightly annoying. So constantly in lethologica - wh/ i think is the state of not knowing the precise word you wish to use at that time. Plus I keep talking like I'm narrating a HP fanfic story... and my brain starts narrating my life.. Can't it give a brief overview of whatever I need to learn about Cardiovascular and Respiratory systems since I know so very very very little right now.
I know I am small, but I feel so tiny when the world is so big and the wealth of knowledge we'll be expected to know (and are expected to know already) is enormous.
*sigh*
Ok, sleep soon, then study in the morning.
Delete links to awesome fanfics and read during holidays.
Also remember to get the third book in Inheritance cycle... will kill anyone who ruins the ending.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
List Of Things To Do
Today I finished one assignment and read through the next two that are due, so I can get started on them over the weekend.
Though I have lots of work to do, I'm feeling pretty good :)
Tomorrow I think I need to work on anatomy. Just anatomy, solidly, all day. Friday I should probably look at the legal and ethical issues we've looked at this semester. Then the weekend I really have to go through and work on some of these Learning Objectives. Oh and I have to prepare for the debriefing tute. (So debriefing tute, DHC proposal and D&P reports for the assigns to go). Must also look over history taking and physical examinations! (See Talley and O'Connor).
We've got 5 cases of cardiovascular, 6 of respiratory and 4 of renal. Roughly 10 LOs each case, so that's about 150 LOs and we've got 6 weeks till exams. So roughly 3-5 LOs each day and I'll be right. Putting in perspective like that isn't too bad. Now I just have to knuckle down and do them :P
So here's the final list:
>LOs
>DHC LOs
>DLEPP LOs
>OSCE prep
>Anatomy
>DHC proposal
>D&P report
>Debriefing tutorial
plus my taxes :P
Though I have lots of work to do, I'm feeling pretty good :)
Tomorrow I think I need to work on anatomy. Just anatomy, solidly, all day. Friday I should probably look at the legal and ethical issues we've looked at this semester. Then the weekend I really have to go through and work on some of these Learning Objectives. Oh and I have to prepare for the debriefing tute. (So debriefing tute, DHC proposal and D&P reports for the assigns to go). Must also look over history taking and physical examinations! (See Talley and O'Connor).
We've got 5 cases of cardiovascular, 6 of respiratory and 4 of renal. Roughly 10 LOs each case, so that's about 150 LOs and we've got 6 weeks till exams. So roughly 3-5 LOs each day and I'll be right. Putting in perspective like that isn't too bad. Now I just have to knuckle down and do them :P
So here's the final list:
>LOs
>DHC LOs
>DLEPP LOs
>OSCE prep
>Anatomy
>DHC proposal
>D&P report
>Debriefing tutorial
plus my taxes :P
10 Simple Rules
The following rules are for when my two best friends and I decide to move in together. All who enter the house have to follow by the rules also.
1. No practical jokes unless it's your birthday, a big drinking night or April Fool's.
2. No farting (exceptions include outside, bathroom, and your own bedroom)
3. No velvet
4. No using nail files
5. Toilet pleasantries, please: warning before and after dookies, plus use of airfreshner and opening of windows; both toilet seats go down when finished; replacement of toilet roll when necessary; also see rule 8.
6. (can't remember just yet..)
7. (can't remember just yet..)
8. You spill, break, mess, drop anything - clean it up
9. No hanky-panky in rooms other than your own unless it's your birthday, a big drinking night or April Fool's. (for kitchen rules, see rule 8)
10. No parties before exams; but many parties after exams
other rules include:
Company of more than 2 people requires notification
Notes to be conveyed via Magna-doodle
No noises (from cooking, sex, music etc) between 2 and 8am unless it's your birthday, a big drinking night or April Fool's
No using fingers to eat nutella or honey
No feet on furniture (shoes inside is allowed)
Sharing is caring (but that doesn't include toothbrushes)
When the crib's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'
1. No practical jokes unless it's your birthday, a big drinking night or April Fool's.
2. No farting (exceptions include outside, bathroom, and your own bedroom)
3. No velvet
4. No using nail files
5. Toilet pleasantries, please: warning before and after dookies, plus use of airfreshner and opening of windows; both toilet seats go down when finished; replacement of toilet roll when necessary; also see rule 8.
6. (can't remember just yet..)
7. (can't remember just yet..)
8. You spill, break, mess, drop anything - clean it up
9. No hanky-panky in rooms other than your own unless it's your birthday, a big drinking night or April Fool's. (for kitchen rules, see rule 8)
10. No parties before exams; but many parties after exams
other rules include:
Company of more than 2 people requires notification
Notes to be conveyed via Magna-doodle
No noises (from cooking, sex, music etc) between 2 and 8am unless it's your birthday, a big drinking night or April Fool's
No using fingers to eat nutella or honey
No feet on furniture (shoes inside is allowed)
Sharing is caring (but that doesn't include toothbrushes)
When the crib's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Songs For Your Mood
These lists aren't exhaustive, but basically these songs may be helpful when upset or angry.
May add to these if I get the chance
Songs to be upset to:
Falling Slowly - glen hansard and m irglov (something :S)
Iris - goo goo dolls
Eyes - rogue wave
The Promise - tracy chapman
Better Days - goo goo dolls (possibly belongs in angry category)
Black Balloon - goo goo dolls (possibly belongs in angry category)
Happy Ending - mika
Dream Catch Me - newton faulkner
Leave Out All The Rest - linkin park (possibly belongs in angry category)
It's Not Over - secondhand serenade
Open Your Eyes - snow patrol
Pictures Of You - angie hart
Tell Her This - del amitri
Overkill - colin hay (live acoustic is better)
If We Hold On Together - land before time song, don't remember artist
Hanging By A Moment - lifehouse
Open Your Eyes - snow patrol
Songs to be angry with:
Falls Apart - sugar ray
You Shit Me To Tears - don't remember artist
Fell In Love Without You - motion city soundtrack
Hum Hallelujah - fall out boy
Sugar, We're Going Down - fall out boy
Big Machine - goo goo dolls
Scotty Doesn't Know - euro trip
May add to these if I get the chance
Songs to be upset to:
Falling Slowly - glen hansard and m irglov (something :S)
Iris - goo goo dolls
Eyes - rogue wave
The Promise - tracy chapman
Better Days - goo goo dolls (possibly belongs in angry category)
Black Balloon - goo goo dolls (possibly belongs in angry category)
Happy Ending - mika
Dream Catch Me - newton faulkner
Leave Out All The Rest - linkin park (possibly belongs in angry category)
It's Not Over - secondhand serenade
Open Your Eyes - snow patrol
Pictures Of You - angie hart
Tell Her This - del amitri
Overkill - colin hay (live acoustic is better)
If We Hold On Together - land before time song, don't remember artist
Hanging By A Moment - lifehouse
Open Your Eyes - snow patrol
Songs to be angry with:
Falls Apart - sugar ray
You Shit Me To Tears - don't remember artist
Fell In Love Without You - motion city soundtrack
Hum Hallelujah - fall out boy
Sugar, We're Going Down - fall out boy
Big Machine - goo goo dolls
Scotty Doesn't Know - euro trip
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Days like today
I hate days like today
Where I get told something I don't want to know
Have a good conversation with someone I thought was an enemy and a bad conversation with someone I thought was a friend
Learn something about someone I care about that changes the way I feel about them
Don't really accomplish much (or any of the things I'd planned to do)
Realise something I thought was right was completely wrong
Get ignored and forgotten
Feel completely lost and alone
Get angry at something I don't understand
Have feelings and emotions I can't put into words and instead just end up depressed
But in the end I'm listening to random music and wanting to run away from it all. or cry lol but I've got no idea about the reason. I just want to start over. Why can't I have a restart button for life??
Where I get told something I don't want to know
Have a good conversation with someone I thought was an enemy and a bad conversation with someone I thought was a friend
Learn something about someone I care about that changes the way I feel about them
Don't really accomplish much (or any of the things I'd planned to do)
Realise something I thought was right was completely wrong
Get ignored and forgotten
Feel completely lost and alone
Get angry at something I don't understand
Have feelings and emotions I can't put into words and instead just end up depressed
But in the end I'm listening to random music and wanting to run away from it all. or cry lol but I've got no idea about the reason. I just want to start over. Why can't I have a restart button for life??
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Things I want to say to friends
You horn-dog!
I'm so jealous
I think we need to stop this
I don't want to marry you
I'm so jealous
I think we need to stop this
I don't want to marry you
Friday, August 1, 2008
Why I want to be a doctor
Oh yeah. I totally called it that the patient in our latest case would die. Guess that means I'm a pessimist.
Also realised that although I don't want to do cardiology anymore, I'm ok with changing my mind. I know I'll find something that really fits with me. I'd just laugh if it's Orthopedics, or Ear Nose and Throat. Or if I end up as a lecturer. I think that'd be the worst lol
It's strange, I didn't always want to be a doctor. I know as a little girl I wanted to be an artist (not that I have any real talent!) or a vet (I think I was put off my the high marks needed to get there, I didn't think I was smart enough). During my final year at highschool my grandmother got very sick, and a few days before she passed away she asked me what I wanted to do for a living. She just wanted to know where I was headed. But there wasn't anything for me to say. I had been trying to figure it out myself, and nothing really reached out at me.
This was about the time I consulted the I Ching set I have at home. It's an ancient Chinese method of divination that really helps explain things for me. I love it. Anyway, I asked it how I would decide what I wanted to do with my life. The answer that came back was that I needed to wait and I would know the answer like a lightning bolt. And one day I woke up and it just hit me. Medicine. I wanted to be able to use my brains for something, and although I enjoyed debating, I always knew Law wasn't for me; there's a shortage of doctors - so I'd be needed; I'd be able to help people like the ones who helped my grandmother; I could really contribute something. And it stuck. I haven't thought of anything else since and I've worked pretty hard towards it. I could probably work a little harder... but for now I think I'm on my way there.
Also realised that although I don't want to do cardiology anymore, I'm ok with changing my mind. I know I'll find something that really fits with me. I'd just laugh if it's Orthopedics, or Ear Nose and Throat. Or if I end up as a lecturer. I think that'd be the worst lol
It's strange, I didn't always want to be a doctor. I know as a little girl I wanted to be an artist (not that I have any real talent!) or a vet (I think I was put off my the high marks needed to get there, I didn't think I was smart enough). During my final year at highschool my grandmother got very sick, and a few days before she passed away she asked me what I wanted to do for a living. She just wanted to know where I was headed. But there wasn't anything for me to say. I had been trying to figure it out myself, and nothing really reached out at me.
This was about the time I consulted the I Ching set I have at home. It's an ancient Chinese method of divination that really helps explain things for me. I love it. Anyway, I asked it how I would decide what I wanted to do with my life. The answer that came back was that I needed to wait and I would know the answer like a lightning bolt. And one day I woke up and it just hit me. Medicine. I wanted to be able to use my brains for something, and although I enjoyed debating, I always knew Law wasn't for me; there's a shortage of doctors - so I'd be needed; I'd be able to help people like the ones who helped my grandmother; I could really contribute something. And it stuck. I haven't thought of anything else since and I've worked pretty hard towards it. I could probably work a little harder... but for now I think I'm on my way there.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Reevaluation
After watching an episode of scrubs (that I've very maturely decided I don't like) I've really thought about my current relationship.
I've realised that I'm only in this relationship because it became easier to stay together. Three years together has made things comfortable, but at the moment I'm not happy. Though I haven't broken it off yet, because I really don't want to deal with the problems it will create. Not now anyway. Though the longer this goes on, I'm hoping that those problems will get easier. Or at least seem easier.
Since starting med, everything's changed.
I used to be really good at uni. It's not like I'm any good at anything else, but I'm ok with that. It's just that this year, first year med, they expect us to do a lot of independent study. I'm not good at independent study. Well, I'm not good so far. Which is ok, I can pass, but it means I wont be top of med school - and I wanted to be.
Becoming a doctor is something I've wanted for a long time now. If I really want to be the best doctor I can be - I have to be able to study independently, and I need to be motivated (by my very competitive spirit) to push myself to beat the others.
And that probably means eliminating distractions.
I've realised that I'm only in this relationship because it became easier to stay together. Three years together has made things comfortable, but at the moment I'm not happy. Though I haven't broken it off yet, because I really don't want to deal with the problems it will create. Not now anyway. Though the longer this goes on, I'm hoping that those problems will get easier. Or at least seem easier.
Since starting med, everything's changed.
I used to be really good at uni. It's not like I'm any good at anything else, but I'm ok with that. It's just that this year, first year med, they expect us to do a lot of independent study. I'm not good at independent study. Well, I'm not good so far. Which is ok, I can pass, but it means I wont be top of med school - and I wanted to be.
Becoming a doctor is something I've wanted for a long time now. If I really want to be the best doctor I can be - I have to be able to study independently, and I need to be motivated (by my very competitive spirit) to push myself to beat the others.
And that probably means eliminating distractions.
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