After watching an episode of scrubs (that I've very maturely decided I don't like) I've really thought about my current relationship.
I've realised that I'm only in this relationship because it became easier to stay together. Three years together has made things comfortable, but at the moment I'm not happy. Though I haven't broken it off yet, because I really don't want to deal with the problems it will create. Not now anyway. Though the longer this goes on, I'm hoping that those problems will get easier. Or at least seem easier.
Since starting med, everything's changed.
I used to be really good at uni. It's not like I'm any good at anything else, but I'm ok with that. It's just that this year, first year med, they expect us to do a lot of independent study. I'm not good at independent study. Well, I'm not good so far. Which is ok, I can pass, but it means I wont be top of med school - and I wanted to be.
Becoming a doctor is something I've wanted for a long time now. If I really want to be the best doctor I can be - I have to be able to study independently, and I need to be motivated (by my very competitive spirit) to push myself to beat the others.
And that probably means eliminating distractions.
